When I sat down for what I expected to be a normal meeting with my boss, she surprised me by saying, "You seem unhappy here, and we don’t want unhappy people. I can help you find another job if you want."
Even though I wasn't unhappy, her words hurt. I thought she meant well but just didn't express herself properly.
A couple of months later, we had another online meeting, and it didn't go well either. She said, "I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I don't need advice. Watch your tone."
That's when I realized it wasn't just a one-time thing. My boss was toxic.
So, what exactly is a toxic boss and why are they such a problem?
A toxic boss is someone who makes the people working under them feel bad. They behave in ways that make employees lose interest, feel disconnected, and lose control over their work.
"Toxic bosses cause burnout," says Peter Ronayne, who knows a lot about leadership. Burnout happens when people feel worried, stressed, sad, or angry at work.
There are five main reasons people get burnt out:
Unfair treatment.
Too much work.
Unclear instructions.
Lack of support from managers.
Unrealistic deadlines.
And guess what? All of these come from having a bad boss.
So, how do you know if your boss is toxic? Here are six signs:
They don’t listen to you.
They control everything you do.
They won’t let you grow in your job.
They act differently when other people are watching.
They make you feel insecure.
They expect too much from you.
If you realize your boss is toxic, what can you do about it?
Tell them how you feel.
Try to understand why they act that way.
Build relationships with other people.
Take care of yourself.
Ask for help from someone you trust.
Talk to other people who are dealing with the same problem.
If nothing works, think about leaving.
And if you do decide to leave, make sure to explain why. That way, the company can learn from your experience. But remember to do it respectfully.